All I want for Christmas is knee cartilage...

Osteoarthritis knees, Menopause & VSG Post Op Updates:

I lost a total of 95 pounds during my weight loss WLS journey.  After two years, I have re-gained 25 pounds and have been able to maintain a comfortable body weight. I did not make my original goal weight of 145 lbs., but I do feel much better. I have lowered my blood pressure, no longer have sleep apnea and went from a size 28 into a size 16/18 today.  

I am on a high dosage of HRT patch as I endure the change of life, and it is working well.  No more hot flashes, mood swings and I still feel randy like a Cougar in heat. - I have not taken a lover yet, but God help the man whoever he is, who de-flowers this wanna be MILF after her long awaited erotic hideous.

My next weight-loss goal is to wear a size 10/12 long term and am not sure what that will look like on the scale.  The end of 2017 has been a very physically painful one that I am working on.  I am suffering from bone on bone Osteoarthritis in my right knee and am getting an MRI next week to check my options.  I am young and strong enough to possibly get surgery since I have no cartilage left in my right knee.

Not being able to walk totally sucks!  Pain management has been the focus of my every day these past 3 weeks.  

What is working for me is Intermittent fasting protocols 16/8, stopping eating when I feel satisfied - not full, and now building my core strength with weight training and some physical therapy for the muscles surrounding my Osteoarthritis parts.  I am trying out some new supplements to help support my joints too.

It's a fine balance between gracefully gliding into my version of fun elegant form of mature style inside and out and fighting like hell against aging. It's all about what I eat, what I avoid, how to reduce inflammation and not go crazy feeling deprived as one withdrawals from wanting to eat sugar, milk chocolate, flour, rice, potatoes and drinking alcohol.  

I take many supplements that help with inflammation and have been drinking a lot more water these days.  It's not easy eating clean during the holidays, and I am having a lot of fun with friends even though I am not as mobile right now.

I hope to make my next weight-loss goal for the Spring Strawberry music festival in May!  My 3 year Surgiversary.  WE WILL SEE! 

I WISH YOU ALL A VERY 

HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!

Mindfulness & Post WLS

Yo Whirled,

I'm writing to give yall' my monthly WLS update and tell you my story so far on this weight loss journey.  I realize, that if you are here reading this right now, you either are considering getting WLS or just curious about what life is like for a person who actually went and had their innards changed because they needed to lose a significant amount of body weight to be gone from their bodies like myself.  

What I have to tell you is, even if you lose a large amount of weight, you will still come to the place in yourself that you will need to face that has mostly nothing to do with food or exercise or dieting when it comes to getting to your weight loss goal.  

You will still have to deal with the emotions, the addictions, and for some of us, the past traumas that were never released from the body itself, before you can get real long term change.

I have been a mindfulness tourist for many years.  I was happily distracted by turning over cosmic and mystical rocks, finding hidden truths in EVERYTHING. I was trying to understand the what, why and who of Life and existence.  I was a bitchin good dreamer, that became good at controlling my dreams and have been embarking on OBE exploration.  I guess you could say I was never a faith based person.  I wanted the straight dope answers first hand and am ballzy enough to defy everything I was taught and look behind the curtain and go straight to the Source myself to find the real Truth I was aware of inside my Core.  What I have found out so far is outstanding!

My curiosity and courage have made for a full rich inner life. With not much to show on the outside to the world as far as earthly success, I have lived an outstanding and beautiful full life on the inside so far.  The more I learn the less I seem to know, and it's damned exciting but also a great distraction from feeling while being IN MY BODY.  It's time I embrace and feel and release my past wounds from my body.  They are sitting in my gut, they ARE MY GUT.  Do you have parts of your body that are holding onto the past?  

I spoke with a practitioner of Somatic Experiencing this week.  I will need to hold someone's hand while getting through them, and help to get these old unresolved parts out of me and released from my body.  I am going to do some sessions. I'll let you know how it goes.  My intention is to have a lighter heart and flatter tummy.  I still feel sexy, sassy and am grateful for every moment I am alive no matter what the scale says or how many new wrinkles may show up around my eyes. I do laugh a whole lot, Dem Be Laugh Lines Dammit. : o  

My weight has remained the same this month.  It goes up and down.  I am far from my goal weight, but feel good at a size 16.  It's way better than where I was 2 years ago at a size 28, that is for sure. I am sure I would feel more confident if I were smaller.  No one can be skinny enough or rich enough right?  Mindfulness and the practice of being more present in every moment has been changing my eating and movement on a daily basis.  

Having this tiny tummy has been the best thing ever for managing portion control.  I just can't eat very much in a sitting, but don't be fooled. You can regain the weight all back if you are not careful. Body image, self worth, self acceptance, and choosing to make your body feel good while you are in it, is what makes the quality of life worth living.  I am still trying to figure this part out.  I have a feeling that once my "Change of life" part subsides, I will find balance again.  I know I will get to my weight loss goal eventually.  My spirit is strong, my body will catch up soon.  

Some days I am frustrated and discouraged. Other days I am angry and push myself, hurt myself in the process and then mend.  I spent a lifetime weighing food, starving, obsessing about swallowing calories and drinking gallons of water every waking moment. WLS does not change this part. You still will need to watch yourself, but with a small tummy and not having the Hunger hormone any longer, you won't feel as hungry or be able to eat as much.  This is a huge bonus for those of us who have had the sleeve gastrectomy surgery. 

Life post op long term is mostly psychological, emotional and personal when it comes to weight loss success.  How you deal with stress, grief, pain, loss, anger, sadness...it's all related to food, connection, feeling safe, secure and how you care for yourself.  All of this stuff affects your body weight, and quality of life.  How do you define quality of life?  For me it's loving and accepting myself where I am and being able to experience joy, love, freedom and creating new things and sharing them with fun, deep thinking, smart ass friends.  Good people and good times. 

I am learning how powerful intention is in my ability to change myself. I'll report more on that part next month.  Hang in there beautiful peeps.  You and I will get there, one breath and step and a time.

The best cure for the body, is a quiet mind.

Updates, finally...

Wow, it'a been awhile since I posted an update.  I just have not wanted to report on my progress.  I have basically stayed at the same weight, but went up and down since.  I gain 7 pounds and then lose it. It's been frustrating and a bit discouraging, but my ass shrinking has plateaued for now folks.  I wished I would have made my two year goal, but I am happy at where I am for now with my size and my MoJo.  

I am in full menopause currently and have been experiencing the severe joint pain I was having after the full hysterectomy surgery I had last fall.  They call it "Menopausal Arthritis".  I hurt in all of my joints like friggin hell.  I am still on the high dose of Climara HRT Patch to relive all of the other hellish symptoms.

Other than joint pain, and the halt in my weight loss, I am doing pretty good. I am a goofy girl that plans fun things and goes and does them. I am an optimist. I stay focused on the good things that are working, even when I can barely walk up and down the stairs, joints, knees, elbows, wrists, neck, hips... aching pain.  It's so weird.  I'm young and feel like an old woman some days. Let's just say, you aren't going to see me run a triathlon right now.  

I do sit-ups and have one of those twist boards that is helping strengthen my core.  When I do seriously exercise, I take pain meds before so I can get some cardio in, but when they wear off - I suffer big time.  I just keep my carbs and calories very low these days to make up for not working out as much. It is tough.  I take it a day and a week at a time.  I am grateful for my life and the good health I do have.

The thing that I have learned about living with my sleeve is now after 2 years is, my digestive system has really changed.  I have a sensitive stomach that gets dumping syndrome from eating any kind of sugar. It's kind of a blessing, but sad. My body just can't handle it well.  It's a pleasure and pain thing, and not in a good way.  

I do get hungry (nothing even close to what I was like before surgery however) and eat small portions, but you can eat a lot if you give it time. That's where anyone WLS person can get into trouble and put the weight, back on.  It still all comes down to not using food to soothe yourself and finding other ways to find comfort.  

I'm really into vanilla & coconut oil bubble baths.  I am a walking, squeaky cleaned, extra soft, vanilla cookie in a skirt.  Comfort.  I was doing strict keto to the point where I was almost doing zero carbs for weeks, but that was not realistic.  "If it's not sustainable, it's not maintainable."  The key for me is everything in moderation.  I like to taste things, not really eat them.  This means I stop eating when I feel satisfied, not when I am full.  

The intermittent fasting protocols work for me too.  I keep testing how long I can go without breaking a fast.  I am still experimenting and exploring with eating and my relationship with food.  At the end of the day, I accept myself where I am today.  I am a work in progress. I am lovable just as I am, but I sure can't wait to get through this change of life thang.  

I believe that once my body is done with this menopause, getting my hormones and metabolism balanced again, I will feel much better.

5 pound loss!

Hi All,

I'm better this month.  I got some help at work.  Less stress, yay!  I lost 5 pounds, finally.  I have been eating higher carbs than usual, but I feel balanced.  I am still in full ovarian shut down/menopause since my hysterectomy and still on the HRT patch.  The Climara patch and taking DHEA has been a life saver.  My energy level is higher and I'm happy and grateful for my life.

I feel like a 12 year old girl! 

I am trimming up and feeling sexy and sassy.  My motto this year is, "Don't grow up, it's a trap."  It is really the theme of my life.  I guess it's because I was the oldest of the kids in my family, and dealt with many grown-up serious things as a child.  I feel like I am making up for it now in the last half of my life.  Joy, happiness, silliness and hard work and play are what I'm about now.  

I have been looking on Match.com occasionally, and all I see are old geezers in my age range.  It's weird and kinda scary.  How old am I?  I know sexy guys who look old, but are fun and young at heart.  All of them are married a long time, lonely as hell, safe and secure and stuck in a sad purgatory.  I won't date another woman's man.  I want one of my own, who can love me without stifling my independent spirit and can give me room to breath.  Is that even possible?  Are all the good ones taken?  I sure hope not.  I have so much love and affection to give someone.

I'm having a total blast restoring my VW Leopard Lair 1973 T2 Camper Bus.  I bought a heavy duty sewing machine and am learning how to make some cool stuff. I have some events happening this year.  It feels good to be back on a creative track again.  I miss singing and am still looking for a jazz rhythm section for my new jazz music project.  I'm keeping busy and on track.  My weight loss journey has been slow, but steady.  I only weigh myself once a week.  I don't get obsessed about it anymore.  I know my body is changing and adjusting.

I feel beautiful, sexy, and happy.  I think that is what matters, but being at a healthy weight for my height is taking longer than I expected it would after VSG surgery.  I accept myself where I am at this moment, yet I know that the little things I do everyday with food, self care and movement, make the biggest difference in my body long term.

STAY TUNED FOR LESS OF ME!

Up and down...

I have been a bit behind in posting my updates. My day job has been so stressful that I have been working day and night and weekends for the past 4 weeks.  They laid off someone and we are short a person while at the same time things have gotten even crazy busier.  I work at a Biotech start-up, so it is intense, but as of 2017 it has become like a meat grinder without any relief in sight.  It has worn me down and I am in serious burn-out.

I wrote a formal letter asking for help.  We met to discuss options. We will see how it goes.  I love the people I work with, and want to stay.  Biotech recruiters have been calling me, and my old company even sent me an email asking how I was doing.  I have not responded.....yet.

I'm in menopause, on an HRT patch.  I haven't walked or exercised in 3 weeks.  My eye started twitching, I am losing sleep and am just physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.  I was in deep ketosis since January 1st, and feeling great.  The scale would go up and down, but the inches were melting off me.  The scale not going down feels like I am failing.  I thought I would try a "Carb Nite" to see if it would help trick my body.  This was not a good idea.  I feel awful. Sugar and bread are like a drug.  They make me feel worse than a cheap tequila hangover.  Once you have been off it for a while, then are back on it, you really feel the difference.

I realize for me doing a Keto lifestyle is actually not about weight loss for me like it once was. It's about feeling clear headed, not craving food, or feeling bloated.  Being in ketosis keeps my blood sugar down which helps my mood and my energy levels stay steady throughout the day.  I have more stamina and don't get hungry very often so I can do intermittent fasting for longer periods of time.

Eating high fat has made my skin and hair better and I have lost almost a whole other dress size.  I find that eating Keto (LCHF) is not always easy to do, but allows me to feel physically really good, but I have not lost many pounds. They keep going up and then down.  I am one pound higher than last month, but I am smaller all over.  I am frustrated, but not discouraged.  I don't do well fasting for more than 16 hours at a time. Going any longer than that, triggers my old dieting cycle.  For 30 years I would fast for days, feel freak out deprived, then crazy binge on food.  That is how I ended up so big over time.  Keeping my calories to 1200 a day, and my keto macros dialed in, still the pounds are not going down.  Stress, and more stress.

I am up one pound from last month,
but my tummy is flatter, my waist is smaller.

I am into a woman's size 16, so that is good.

But why is the scale not going down?  I have put my jazz music project on hold, and that is hurting my spirit and soul.  I need time and energy to create and rehearse and work on that part of my life that brings me joy.  If I could survive as a full time vocalist and artist, I would be in my bliss.  I would like to work four days a week and have three days to work on what I love most. These days I get out of bed, go to work non-stop and then go home and go straight back to bed and pull the covers over my head.  I never thought my day job stress would rob me of my passion and joy as much as it is.  It's time for a change.

Take it from me, having my sleeve is saving my ass when it comes to portion size control.  I can't eat very much, but one still has to deal with new ways of comforting, rewarding and soothing yourself, with and without food.  A person can regain the weight they lost after WLS.  Finding a healthy lifestyle food wise that you like and that works for you is key.  I am still trying to figure out how to get to my goal weight and then stay in maintenance.  It is tougher than I thought it would be.  I see all of these other people out there who have successfully made it to their weight loss goals much sooner than I have.  It's going to take as long as it takes.  I won't give up, but my stress level has really taken a toll on me.

My workload has become way too high. We are working on a plan to reduce this.  When you work full-time plus and are not taking good care of yourself to make deadlines, that is when you need to rethink your whole life.  I am.  I just put my foot down.  I have new boundaries.  I am working only 8 hours a day and no longer taking my work home.  I am taking an hour lunch break everyday, which is a chance for me to get out and walk/jog my favorite route.  I must do these things to keep my health and balance intact.  I need to stay grounded, and remember self care during these crazy intense times.  I must find time to be in my creative space every day to feed my soul and express the profound beauty I see in the world in inspiring ways.

I dream of a life where I get to work performing and writing original music, traveling, and writing.  I see myself getting up in the mornings and running/walking on the beach. Doing a morning and yoga meditation practice.  I imagine sharing my life and home with a big fun sexy sweetheart of a man, who gets my weird sense of humor and is not afraid of swimming into the deep end of the pool of the unknown parts of life together.  I bet we would have a cat and a dog and live near the sea.  How do I create this as a reality in my life?

I don't think I will ever actually retire, just once I have the basics taken care of,
I will begin to live a life I was meant to live.

Happy 2017 my friends!

Hi Boy & Girls and Undecided,

It's time to give yall' my monthly progress report.  I had gained a little as expected over my birthday celebrations and the holidays, but am 5 pounds down since my last post.  Yay!

Every morning, I try on this one new cute little winter jacket I bought that I have not been able to fit into, by a long shot...  I mean like it was way too small and no where close to buttoning.  This morning I was able to button the top button.  That is what's a trip about a ketogenic diet. You lose more inches than pounds.

My Ketonix breath tester broke and I am sending it back to be repaired.  I have been using the ketone test strips and they show that I am in deep ketosis.  It gives me reassurance I'm on track, and the jacket proves it.  Once I am in deep ketosis, it feels like I am losing around one to two inches all over per week.  It's crazy amazing.

More than anything, I feel good on many levels eating ketogenic lifestyle.  I know it's not for everyone, but it really works for me, especially with a tiny tummy.  My head is clear, my gut is calm, I sleep better.  I don't have cravings like I used to.  I am not hungry every 3 hours like I used to be.  I feel more grounded emotional and energetically great.  I am on track. Keto is the best thing besides my sleeve that I have ever done for my overall health!  My sleeve helps me not overeat. Eating keto, helps me feel awesome everyday!

My goal is to keep losing an average of one pound per week on Keto until I reach my goal weight, to get down between 145 - 155 lbs. long term and than maintenance after that.  That means in 19 months, I should be at 155 lbs.  It's slow but steady.  I am glad I found a food lifestyle that makes me feel good, where I don't feel deprived, can drink hard alcohol on the weekends and eat bacon whenever I want. : )

I make it a point to not drink Monday - Thursdays, but Friday is my party night.  I live in San Francisco, and the options are endless here for fun. When I order a drink in a bar, it's Champagne, Prosecco or a nice glass of Malbec wine or my go to is Cuba Libra Diet for happy hour.  I do love vodka. I am a Grey Goose Le Citron Martini girl.  I am not on a diet, I am living a Keto Lifestyle, so being able to live and do pleasurable things including drinking on some weekends, makes my lifestyle enjoyable and sustainable.  When I go to some parties, I have been known to bring my own organic sugar-free cocktail mixers.

I am aware that other Sleevers out there have had much more weight loss than me and faster.  I am okay with where I am and trust in my process.  I am learning as I go.  Fat fasting and intermittent fasting protocols have been helpful to blow through a weight loss plateau.

I also wanted to report that since my full hysterectomy 4 months ago and the experience of being in full ovarian shut down even after keeping my healthy ovaries, being on the HRT patch has most likely helped and hindered my progress.  Hormones play a huge role in ones metabolism and well being.  I am feeling balanced, happy. I am not having mood swings, night seats, hot flashes or depression at all.

It's all about quality of life.  I know I'm at an age where I am in full bloom, and my petals may begin so slowly fall off for the next 30 years so to speak.  Accepting and loving myself as I morph into each phase of me and role I choose to create to express me with from here on out, it's all about the quality of each moment. THE QUALITY OF LIFE.  For me that requires, Music, Art and Debauchery with wonderful people to share it all with!

My weight-loss journey was not about food.  It's been about finding new ways to comfort and soothe myself, accept my body and love myself where I am at, flaws and all.  

Over all, it's been about creating a life I don't need to take a vacation from. This means I have developed good solid boundaries and have learned how to say no.  Managing the stress and still working full time while I pursue my hearts passion of jazz, glamping and designing. They bring me joy.

I am being patient with myself and compassionate, but I am not slacking either.  Part of trusting oneself is about earning respect and actually following through with your goals, and celebrating your own personal victories.  These have been the keys to a happier life.  I want to thank you for following along with me on this journey.  I wish you luck with your new goals for 2017.

It's all a big experiment, this thing we call life.  If you find something that works for you, stick with it.  I know for me, if it's convenient, I will do it.  I have been drinking 32 ozs. of water daily, and that was something I never did in 2016.   Your focus and intention creates your way.

IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN!
TALK TO YOU IN FEBRUARY!

Holidays, Birthdays & Fat Asses

Hi All:

I regained the weight I lost.  My hormones are all fucked up do to what I ate over the Thanksgiving holiday, HRT and I have been struggling with my weight-loss, but I am feeling good mood wise, not having the menopausal arthritis as much (my knees are better than they were, but bad enough that I have a tough time getting up the stairs this week), I'm still trying to find balance and get back on track.  

I am doing great after my recent hysterectomy, and now with the ovarian shutdown, am trying to manage the full on throws of menopause.  Yes ladies, even if you keep your precious ovaries intact, you can still go straight to menopausal hell. I am finding my way through it okay.  I feel young at heart more than ever. I am full of energy.  I am still pinching myself daily because I was suffering so badly for so long, feeling this good now is a miracle for me.  I am in need of getting my head straight on a daily basis and got off track.  I love YouTube and following my friends there.

If you need motivation to get back on track, here is one of my favorite HONEST and hilarious YouTube Channels: ScottTheTruckDriver  He is sort of the Man's man of weight-loss success. I adore his sense of humor and knowledge, but mostly his honesty in what he has tried out on himself and what has and has not worked for him. He delivers his truth like a Real Truck Driver, because he is one! LOL!  He also is an amazing photographer.

Here is his latest video:

He has great success with Fat Fasting to guarantee he gets into ketosis and then blows through his weight-loss plateaus with ease.  He inspires me.  I am finding it is all about convenience and routine for me.  First, I don't like cooking during the weekdays, so finding the secrets to keto-take-out have been key for me, with my work life style.  Second, emotions and stress are a huge factor in my eating. 

This is why I love the ketogenic diet lifestyle.  I don't ever feel deprived. But sugar is my drug of choice.  Once I eat it, I spiral out of control and then feel like crap.  I am experimenting with making some things that are sugar free to help me with this psychological, emotional part of my world.

The truth for me is, it starts right now.  I am one of those people who can pick up a pint of ice cream and eat it while saying to myself, "I will start back on track tomorrow."  and keep saying that week after week until I get fat, avoid the evil scale in the morning and keep my head buried in the pile of sugar deep enough, so I won't come to my senses and get off the ride that is making me sick.  BEING IN THE NOW, is key to everything really.  

Depression is being in the past, Anxiety is being in the future, Being Here Right Now is all that actually IS. Every decision we make in this moment determines our path.  

Even a very small change right now makes a huge change long term.  Think of a plane headed for a destination.  If it changes just 1 or 2 degrees, it will end up completely somewhere else long term.  Think of this when you get hungry or thirsty. I know where I want to go, yet people like Scott and myself are learning and experimenting on how to get there. This is what this blog is all about.

I can love and accept myself where I am right now, but I want to feel and look better.  Being the best me I can be, increases my energy and attitude.  Makes me think better and be a better expression of me.  Every person has a light and a dark side. When we can except both parts fully within ourselves, you can come to the realization that you aren't really your body, or your ego - You are this electric light body walking around in a meat suit.  

I discovered that I need to manage the meat suit better, and the biology of that process really messes with the emotions.  This realization helps me often because I have been able to pop out of my body with full awareness, including senses.  I'm still experimenting with this, but it gives me comfort to know that I am not stuck in my body or this 3rd dimensional matrix.  I am not a "Faith" based person.  FUCK THAT SHIT, I will boldly go and find out the truth all on my own first hand. 

But the body is still my vessel and I like being in it.  I love pleasure and feeling good, out of pain and love it when during a fast, MY BRAIN BECOMES SHARP AND CLEAR.  This is where hormones, balance and knowing what works for your body and lifestyle are so important to the quality of your life experience.  You want to enjoy all of the wonderful pleasures of life, but not fuck yourself up in the process. IT'S A SKILL TO FIND SUCH BALANCE.

Every body and person is unique and only you can figure out what works for you, based on how you feel and the results you get.  This is why I dig Scott the Truck Driver so much.  He is putting himself out there and we get to follow along.  I am doing that here.  We have ups and downs, and this holiday season can be tough for those trying to lose their fat asses.

I find that if I have food I like that is easy to grab, I stay on track.  My birthday is next week, then Christmas, New Years...the food, and parties are endless! I will take it a day at a time.  I will indulge on the weekends, and manage during the weekdays. I wish you success and very happy holidays along your weight-loss journey.  ENJOY BEING FULL IN THE MOMENT.  If you do decide to eat something off your plan, really savor it!  Be fully in your body and allow all of your sensual pleasure to engulf you completely!  LIVE & LOVE BEING ALIVE!  

Love who you are with!  Laugh, Love & Live Fully, you are getting closer to death every second.  When you are at the end of your time here, will you look back at your life and say you enjoyed every moment you could of it fully?  You can trust yourself.  You can find the balance you are seeking.  You can live in that balance and fully....

BE HERE NOW!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

I lost 2 pounds this week and right before the big Thanksgiving holiday.  Lots of parties coming soon.  I have not  been hard core Keto, just eating when I am hungry and stopping when I am full.  When I say full, I mean that first feeling of full.  I don't like feeling sick.  When you have a tiny tummy and you are really hungry, you can make mistakes.

Either you eat to fast and feel sick, or you eat the wrong things that won't sustain you and you feel icky.  When I eat protein first (Eggs, meat high in fat etc.) and then veggies, I feel good for hours. The amount is small, so doing takeout is actually easy with a VSG LCHF lifestyle.  But don't be fooled, you can eat slowly and eat a lot of calories.  This is where sugar and flour can be the obstacle to your weight loss success.

I find that not depriving myself a bite of something has helped me more psychologically from feeling deprived and craving or feeling guilt or obsessed about "forbidden foods'. I say there are no forbidden foods. Everything in moderation, but sugar and flour are as addictive as any hardcore drug out there. I feel better when I don't eat them, but they sure taste good.  The buzz from eating them, feels great for a short time. Then comes the icky feeling.  It's remembering the icky feelings is what makes it easier to eat what is best for me first.

This is what's makes having VSG surgery so valuable if you had problems stopping eating.  Make those bites count.  Enjoy what you are eating, emotionally and physically. You will find what works for you and your body.  TRUST YOURSELF AND YOUR PROCESS.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday week and I'll follow-up with yall' soon.

May your Thanksgiving holiday be full of excitement.

 

Smooth sailing...

I am feeling better. My doctor raised the Estrogen dosage on my HRT patch and the joint pain has gone away.  I am also supplementing with DHEA, Neuro Clarity and Pregnenolone.  I'm sleeping better and my mood is great.  I am feeling smooth sailing ahead. 

Still stuck at the current weight, and feeling kind of bloated.  The holidays are here and I am just going to enjoy them. Thanksgiving, my birthday Crab Feast, Christmas and New Years Eve.  My goal is to drop another 60 pounds and add weight training to my weekly routine of cardio.  Having the tiny tummy has made all of the difference in maintaining my weight.  I just can't eat that much.

I did drink a beer the other night, but it was not easy to do.  The carbonation is too much to take.  Champagne has that same effect.  I am having a hard time staying on Keto.  I am feeling much better. One step at a time.

Fuckity, fuck.

I am not losing weight and we think that is may be due to my hormone replacement therapy patch.  It appears that my ovaries have shut down and I have entered into full menopause due to my hysterectomy.  I hear this happens. The weirdest part that no one saw coming was, I am experiencing what is called Menopausal Arthritis in all of my joints, especially my knees.  I hurt all over.  

My ovaries are intact, but I am experiencing ALL Of these weird symptoms. I am out of the horrible pain I was living with for years with uterine fibroids, but now feel like an 80 year old woman who can barely make it up and down a flight of stairs.  Fuckity, fuck.

It seems my choices are like this right now, Stay stuck half way to my weight loss goal and be a much more pleasant person on HRT with the patch as I go through the transition of life, or I stop taking the hormone patch and continue to make it to my weight loss goal but be a complete bitch the entire time. 

I am taking glucosamine, tumeric, along with all of the other supplements I take now.  I also am using Topricin Pain Relief Cream on my joints when it gets really bad. I am doing my best in choosing low carb anti-inflammatory diet to see if I can manage the joint pain and bust through this weight loss plateau, but I am certainly taking it a day at a time.  I am working with my doctor and for the sake of sanity, stay on the patch. We will see how it goes.

No changes to report.

I'm still stalled at current weight.  I am feeling better than ever!  I got a call for a jazz gig and am learning a bunch of new /old swing tunes.  It's really motivating me to get my vocal chops back!

I love Peggy Lee!

Happy Fahrvernpüssy

No weight changes to report.  I am stalled at the same weight.  The holidays are here... it's been hard to stay away from sugar & flour this week.

I bring my VW Leopard Lair Ultra Lounge Bus home tomorrow, with the new/rebuilt Porsche High Performance engine installed. There is a big storm coming this weekend.  It's like GOD'S FREE POWER CAR WASH. : )

I was one of the many people out there on earth, that had a mechanic purchase a faulty GEX International engine.  BIG MISTAKE.  The engine was sent back to them and they said they sent us a new one, but they lied and sent back the same shitty engine. Finding out that part the hard way has been super frustrating for the mechanics and my nerves.  I finally have gotten rid of that engine and went with a better made one.  It sounds good.

         Don't give up on your dream. 

Everyone I know has told me to give up on my bus, but I have a dream.  It's a simple dream really.  I see me happy, healthy, slender, pain free and strong.  I'm out on the open road, with the wind in my hair, listening to some great music, driving my sexy SWANK VW Bus.  I especially love it when another vintage VW goes by, and we wave to one another.  Like a wink and a nod to a fellow VW owner.  We are a rare breed.

I like stopping along the way, and parking the bus for people to check it out. Next year, once I finish restoring the interior, I will take her to a few VW Car shows and share the Glamp-O-Rama Leopard Lounge (Includes the bar) for the full Monty effect.

I made the decision 2 years ago to get VSG surgery in Mexico, and did it.  My weight-loss is slow going, but I love my tiny tummy. I do not have excess skin like some do because I am taking it slow enough for my body to adjust.

I then went and finally got the hysterectomy, and am like a new person.  I am feeling stronger and good!  I was able to lift my big 3 burner Camp Chef stove without any problems the other day.  Only 5 weeks post-op full Da Vinci hysterectomy, and I am doing great!  I mean REALLY GREAT!  For the first time in my life, I have no bloating or cramps or even mood swings. THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER!  I feel like a 12 year old girl!  Never having a period ever again and permanent birth control are pretty nice benefits too.  Life just gets better from here.

My bus and my body seem to be connected. 
We are both doing better than ever.

Now in the Urban Dictionary HERE!

My dream involves silly hardy good laughs, 
incredible beauty, sexy style, fun & tender love.

Gnaughty Gnomes and one pound lost!

This weekend we have Artcar Fest 2016 ~ our 20th  Anniversary Celebration weekend!  My new/rebuilt Porsche High Performance VW bus engine is still being broken in, and I am still on the mend from surgery, so I did some fun things to my daily driver, 2000 Honda Passport 4 x 4.

I have had a secret Gnome fetish for years, now the world knows.  In fact, when I found Larry the squirrel years ago, I was actually looking for angry Gnomes.  Well, I finally found some very naughty Gnomes and did something with them.

Gnomes with attitude.

Gnaughty Gnomes from behind my car.

The holographic paint looks cool in the sun!

Night light effects!

This is what you see when sitting behind me at a street light.

Did I mention that I am a silly girl?

I am back on track for weight loss. I'm still not able to lift anything heavy yet recovering from a full hysterectomy surgery, but still having fun.  I had fun friends come help me over the weekend.  We helped raise money at NIMBY to pay for gas & food for the artists that came from all over the country and Canada. OH CANADA! I could drink a case of you....

Sarah, Christina & Tom Cat ~ Bartenders at the Mar 'Gnome' Rita Bar!

OH YEA, I LOST A POUND THIS WEEK!

This month has been a huge life changing one for me...

For about 4 years, I began suffering from peri-menopausal symptoms.  Hot flashes, like ('Crazy Flop Sweats' whenever I would take a sip of coffee or wine), Night sweats, like (I had run a 100K marathon in my dreams), and mood swings, like (Everything in my life was really great, but for no reason at all, I felt like I was going to cry like the world was ending all the time)  It was so awful living this way.  

I was not sleeping most nights and that wore me down even more. I went to my doctor and had my hormones tested.  Sure enough, I was slowly beginning the change of life and my body was taking it's sweet ass pimp time going into menopause, but my ovaries were healthy and still producing eggs, which meant this torture could continue for years. 

In the last year, my menstrual cycle was crazy irregular and when it arrived, it was extremely painful and heavy so much, there were times I thought I was dying.  I was spending most of my time in bed abusing Motrin to try and function.  The blood loss was so extreme, I was becoming faint and almost passed out more than twice.  I still had to work at my full time intense start-up day job while this was all going on.  I took a break from jazz singing and managing the band.  I longed to perform beautiful music, but couldn't because of my suffering.  My life was a living hell.

I had to fight to get the help I needed.  I saw several doctors and finally found one who could help me.  They did several ultra sounds and saw that I had developed a 3 centimeter sized tumor in my uterine wall near my cervix.  I had never been pregnant, so my uterus was small.  I had read horror stories of woman who had fibroid's the size of grapefruits, but how could I be suffering so badly?  I had this little dark thing that didn't look like a fibroid in there.  They did a biopsy and is was benign, but this thing had to come out.  

I had tried every natural remedy to help, with no relief.  We tried all kinds of birth control pills and medications to try and help the symptoms. Those side effects were worse than the original problems.  My last resort was surgery.  I love kids and wished I would have had some, but I am a young hearted 53 year old lady who is past my prime for that.  

I did a lot of research to make this decision.  I have no cancer in my family tree, so keeping my ovaries would be easiest on my body.  I would wear an HRT patch to help manage the estrogen loss as I transition with the peri-menopausal symptoms. I would continue to go into menopause, keep producing all of the hormones needed to keep me happy and keep my libido in place. They would need to take everything else out, like (Permanent birth control with no more period EVER!)  

So I did it!  I had a full laparoscopic robotic hysterectomy with a high uterosacral suspension, on Monday, September 12, 2016.  I went into the hospital at 10:00am, and was home the same day around 8:30pm.  They removed my uterus, tubes and cervix and anchored my vagina to keep it secure and in place.  I went under full general anesthesia and had no complications.  It took 5 days off from work to recover.  I was on major pain medications that I took every 4 hours. I certainly needed them.  

I slept a lot and watched all 5 seasons of Arrow. (I think Stephen Amell - 'Oliver Queen' is delicious.  A great distraction while healing.)  The most pain I was having was gas pain from the CO2 they filled me with during surgery that was trying to escape my body.  You have pains all over, it's really weird.  I ate soup and little sammiches. I did not do keto and did eat sugar & fruit and flour, I ate some chocolate. But kept my calories around 1500 per day. I did drink lots of water. I was very sore and swollen.  I could walk but not do stairs for the first week very well.

I was able to work from home the second week.  This is when the other problem began. The side effects from the pain meds caused bad constipation.  Imagine that. Your whole area down there is full of staples and stitches inside and you can't poo.  You can't push or you would pop the staples. It became really awful. I was in agony.  They had given me stool softener to help, but it didn't help at all. I tried almost everything, but what ended up working was drinking a bottle of Cherry flavored Roto Rooter ~ Magnesium Citrate Dulcolax.  That got everything moving and working normal again. I stopped taking the heavy pain meds and started on Motrin.  The day after this, I felt like a miracle had happened. 

          I AM OUT OF PAIN - FOR REALS!

I feel like the dark cloud that had been over my spirit for so long, has been blasted away and has freed me.  I feel amazing!  I sort of feel like a 12 year old girl again.  I will never have a period again, that is celebration enough, but I seriously feel clear headed and balanced again. I had brain fog and memory issues due to all of the pain meds I had been taking for so many years.  The patch is seriously helping the other symptoms too.  

I am feeling so good, I went back to work on week 3 and had to take it slow.  I am not supposed to lift anything heavy or overdo it.  I was exhausted the first day, but every day afterward, I felt a little stronger. Then I made a huge mistake.  I lifted something that apparently WAS too heavy for me and injured my staples inside.  It was only maybe ten pounds, but maybe it was how I lifted it. This was yesterday. I had these big plans, and now have to back step and start over.  I am back in bed healing.  For those that know me, this is the hardest part.  I am a fireball and it's hard to stay in place when I feel so good.

I am laying low and trying not to over do anything, which is really hard for me with all the fun stuff that is going on in my life right now.  My favorite Hardly Strictly Bluegrass is happening this weekend, and I will not be going.  I am watching it on the live webcast. Next weekend is my big Artcar Fest 20th Anniversary weekend.  My Leopard Lair Ultra Lounge VW Bus engine just got rebuilt and the guys are breaking in the new engine.  It won't make it in time for the show, so I am doing something fun and silly to my Honda Passport for next weekend. 

I have had a secret Gnome fetish for years. 

The New Naughty Gnome Art Car will be there. 

I learned from my experience with the Squirly Whirly Art Car, the Gnomes would not last one night in public without being vandalized and abducted. These Gnomes are naughty and awesome. Fuckers would be taking them off and stealing them, straight away.  I have a plan to keep them safe and won't keep them on my car after the big weekend. Sad to say but true. I'll get my original art car back soon and continue the restoration project. My Honda just has one Gnome keeping an eye out for me, (Louis was only vandalized once so far) but it's more mundane as my daily driver.

                                                             Lookout Louis

My hood ornament on my Honda Passport 4 wheel drive.

Meanwhile, I am taking it slow and being careful not to do too much, which is Really Hard for me because I feel so awesome in every other way.  I do a little more everyday.  I weighed myself and the scale said 229 pounds. I somehow gained 14 pounds this month. Shocking!  I asked my doctor if this is normal. He said that surgery is a trauma to the your body and my body's natural reaction is to accumulate lots of extra water while it recovers from the shock.  I won't even measure myself yet. The swelling is still there, so I don't think it would be accurate.  

So it's back onto a Ketogenic diet lifestyle and Intermittent Fasting protocols.  This really works for me, but it takes shopping, planning, prepping, and cooking.  I had been alone doing best I could to care for myself all month, making easy stuff, eating out and doing take-out delivery.   I need to get back on track and get to my goal.  Once I am healed completely, I plan to get back in the gym and get toned and strong again.  

A Giant step was made, some steps backward, but Huge Steps Forward for the better!

Talk to you on Sept 30th....

Hey World,

I have decided to take a short hiatus from VSG weekly updates for now because I am prepping for surgery on the 12th.  My weight is not the focus this month. With all of the medications, hormones and healing I will be doing,

I am writing off the month of September 2016 

as a personal medical transformation month. 

I expect to come out on the other side in October, with a new pain free lease on life!  The scale and the inches will be changing like crazy up and down for sure. They will have to remove my Uterus, Cervix and Tubes, but we are keeping my healthy ovaries.  I was feeling pretty good last week, but the pain has come back and I am still experiencing moments of debilitating cramping, enough to make my toes curl even on NORCO.

I can't wait to get this surgery over with! I may not be feeling too good for the next few weeks, but after this is over, I expect to get my full life back and get back up on the jazz stage again and get back to a more athletic lifestyle. It may take me some time to get my heart, soul and personal rig back in shape for giving the way I love to do.

For those who know me and have not seen much of me in the past few years, I have been suffering for far too long with uterus fibroid/tumors. We have tried everything with no relief, so this surgery is the last resort and should help me live a better quality and more active life.

My goal weight is still 145 - 155 lbs. and a size 8.  I am looking forward to getting my bitchin back tattoo probably around my birthday in December.  I'll check back in on Friday, September 30th with a full update.