Holy Crap! I have hip bones...

I worked 64 hours this week.  This is not something I am used to doing.  There was no time for lunch breaks or for exercise.  I still lost one more pound, yay!  The new discovery in my body changes are, I HAVE HIP BONES!  My fat is melting away and my hip bones are beginning to show.  FAROUT.

58 pounds lost so far!

My body is becoming more refined and lean, and it's starting to really show.  I still have a long way to go, but I can see and feel a huge change happening. 

57 pounds Lost so far!

I did it!  I broke my 4 week weight-loss stall!  FINALLY.  I weighed myself this morning and I am 224lbs. A loss of 57 lbs. total so far.  But I got to say, I feel much smaller now.  I have lost one more inch total. 1/2 on my hips and thighs.  I had my doctor check up this week and...

My blood pressure is normal 
for the first time in 20 years!

I'm doing some big cooking soon.  Thanksgiving I am Deep Frying a 17 lb. Turkey. For my birthday, I am throwing my own party and making dinner for 30 and Smoking a 22 lb. Prime Rib Roast, filming the crab horror movie sequel followed by an epic house MUSIC JAM PARTY, with some amazingly talented friends from La Honda, CA!

Christmas Eve, it's Pennsylvania Dutch & Polish appetizers and New Years Day - It's Cafe Du Monde Beignets, Cafe au Lait's & Champagne Cocktails.  I really love the holidays.  This will be my first one with a new tiny tummy.  As long as I stick to Protein first, Veggies second and Carbs 3rd, I am solid.

I remember looking at the calendar before I had this VSG surgery.  I asked myself, "How much weight will I lose before my birthday?"  "How will I feel if I am 60 pounds lighter by December 13, 2015?"  Well friends, I am 3 pounds from that goal, and it's only November 13th.  In one more month, I hope to be able to say I lost 60 pounds - my first goal achievement.   

I FEEL FANTASTIC!  It feels even better when I bump into people I haven't seen in years and they drop their jaw in amazement at my change.  It feels better then I imagined it would.  

I can't tell you the last time 

I felt this much JOY!

That is what weight-loss and getting my body back in balance again means to me.  Joy, Happiness and allowing myself to be free to do all the things I was too big or in pain to do in the past.  My weight-loss goal is REALLY about getting out there and doing things and seeing and exploring THE WORLD in all of it's beauty and richness!  Beside fitting on a roller-coaster ride, I want to SCUBA DIVE!  I was too fat to do that before.

Being able to open my heart and drink in all of the beauty and joy that each lucky moment I get to still have on the planet. Improving the quality of life EVERYDAY because I can now sleep again without Sleep Apnea.  I can walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to collapse.  

I feel lovable!  

This hard work and success is allowing me to forgive myself and let go of my past failures and move forward into a lighter and brighter future.  It's more than hope, it's LOVE and finally accepting myself. I am giving myself the nurturing and care I have needed and neglected for so very long.  I once felt like a lost cause.  WELL I AM NOT LOST ANYMORE. 

I have only 79 more to lose 

until my goal weight of 145 lbs.

I once had to lose 136 pounds.... that sounded daunting.  But 79 more?  

Just a little bit at a time consistently and I will be there soon.

 I'M HAPPY!

IF I CAN DO THIS, I CAN DO ANYTHING!

Feeling & looking good but still in STALL HELL.

Week 4 of the dreaded weightloss stall and the scale says I'm still stuck at 226 lbs. I'm walking 3 days a week, eating less than 1000 a day or less and my body weight is still stuck at the same place now for a month. THIS IS CRAZY TOWN.  I do however feel smaller all over.  I lost another inch on my hips and tummy and my arms. My face is becoming more slender and refined.  I feel more energy and less pain.  The Bio-identical Hormones have helped my girly problems so far and the doctor is watching me closely.

A size 18 woman's is becoming loose on me.  I'm almost into a size 16.  That means MORE MORE LANE GIANT!  No more big girl stores. When I get frustrated, I stop and acknowledge where I was compared to 23 weeks ago.  I was wearing a size 28, and a 3X.  That is a huge difference my friends.  I am still thick, but curvy and proportionate.  I'm even forming an actual "Waistline" again. Yay!

Shopping online for fun inexpensive things to wear has replaced my comfort and reward eating.  I am starting to wear COLOR!  Black was my signature color always, but I am adding color these days.  I have started a crazy wild shoe fetish.  So much so, I may have to design some shoes of my own. : )

Taking walks on the San Francisco Bay on my lunch hour has replaced my stress eating.  I am back on the Carb Cycling: The Turbo Cycle to help break this stall. Chris Powell has testing this on hundreds of his clients and it has proven to work.  Heidi (his wife) has some helpful tips here. What I am doing looks like this:

Carb Cycling: The Turbo Cycle
If you want to shed those extra pounds extra fast, the Turbo Cycle is for you. Of the four carb cycles, this cycle takes off weight the fastest. Unlike the Easy and Classic cycles, which alternate low and high-carb days, the Turbo Cycle pits two low-carb days against every high-carb day. That means you’ll burn fat two days in a row before your body’s furnace (metabolism) is re-stoked on your high-carb day, and you’ll lose weight really, really fast!

Even though the Turbo Cycle has an extra low-carb day as compared to the Easy and Classic cycles, it is not a severely calorie-restricted cycle that will crash your metabolism. As with the other cycles, women should not consume fewer than 1,200 calories a day, and men should not consume fewer than 1,500 calories a day. And since you’ll have two low-carb days in a row, you may feel less energetic on the second low-carb day. But this is okay. These low-carb days are powerful weight-loss accelerators!

Here’s what a Turbo Cycle week looks like:
    Monday: Low carb day
    Tuesday: Low carb day
    Wednesday: High carb day
    Thursday: Low carb day
    Friday: Low carb day
    Saturday: High carb day
    Sunday: Reward day

As with the other cycles, you can stay with the Turbo Cycle as long as you want, or you can change cycles. This program is tailor-made to you and you alone!

For more information on the Turbo Cycle or any other cycle, check out our book, Choose More, Lose More for Life.

My low carb days I keep my carbs under 20 carbs a day.  High carb days I eat up to 60 carbs per day.  It's actually easy to do this eating lifestyle because you eat high protein and veggies most of the time and you don't feel deprived because you eat carbs on the high carb days and get Sunday to eat a Reward food you may be craving.  Hope this works.

My biggest problem is drinking enough water.  I don't.  I need too.  It's like a chore and it doesn't feel good in my tiny tummy.  Drinking lots of water is uncomfortable because you can only do small gulps.  You have to take it slow and when you are working and super busy, remembering to drink water is not on your mind.  I am setting up timer reminders to take sips every 30 mins. throughout the day.  I will try ANYTHING to break this stall. I am patient.  The holidays are almost here and I am going to be the Bad Girl BBQ Chef this season.  I do a lot of cooking, but not much eating. :  )

I'll be Deep Frying the Turkey at my place this year!

My birthday is on December 13th, 

I hope I am  at least 219 lbs. by then.

Ready to dance & sing....

I did get on the scale this morning and nothing has changed.  I'm still at 226 lbs.  55 pounds down so far.  I ain't complaining.  I did something really stupid this week.  My cat is dead, I'm lonesome as hell, and found myself filling out a Match.com profile. What the hell?  I know, I didn't actually sign up or anything.  It was up for a few days.

My inbox was crazy packed full of guys winking at me and emailing me.  I felt flattered, but I totally chickened out and tried to take it down from the site, which I think is impossible.  Internet dating is worse than a serious job interview while waiting in line at the DMV and then having a root canal afterwards. 

For someone who has been known to glue 450 shiny toy pinwheels and 30 garden ornament squirrels to her car, you can imagine how great I come off on a first date with a stranger I met online.  How could someone as weird as me meet a guy online?   I may not be ready to go on a actual "Date" yet, but I am ready to dance me some blues with a cute boy.  Maybe tonight?

I'm going out to catch Suzanne & her Highwater Blues band show in North Beach tonight!

She got me up on stage to sing a few songs with her
at THE OLDEST BLUES HOUSE IN SAN FRANCISCO - The Saloon!

She had me singing the blues and we had the house dancing a boogie!
I have to get me a nice iPad set-up like she has here in the photo.

I WENT AND HAD A TOTAL BLAST!

Left to right we have Michael Lyons, Mark Yee, Me & the fabulous Suzanne Rose.

Very Sad ~ Week 17 VSG Post-Op

It's sort of a miracle that I did not gain any weight from my feasting last weekend.  I danced, worked, cooked, sang, and had a merry time.  I drank some, but also found myself drinking more water than vodka. I cooked gourmet meals for the masses and mixed and served over 40 chocolate martini's.  I tasted a little bit of everything from cake, chocolate, and even home-made ice cream and I didn't gain a pound.

When I arrived home Monday night, I found my sweet 15 year old kitty DIVA, dead on the floor of my bedroom.  She looked like she died peacefully in her sleep.  I had a girlfriend nearby check on her and feed her all weekend while I was a way.  She said the last time she saw her was on Sunday around 2:30pm and Diva was okay.  My baby must have passed away on Monday morning sometime, based on her litter box tells and the state of her little body.

To lose my best friend and 15 year sleeping and cuddle companion has been devastating for me.  I have been unable to sleep or eat much all week.  Diva was like a child to me and very close life companion for so long.
 

I wrote something in her honor:

IN MEMORY OF DIVA: - also known as Angel with fur, Squirrel Girl, Black Angora Squirrel, Mink Black Panther-ess, Circus Cat, Stampede Kitty, AND Kitten Mitten, died peacefully in her sleep at home in Pacifica, CA at the age of 15. 

Diva was known for her sweet and cuddly nature with humans, but revered for her "Death Stare" – a look so intense it was able to kill birds from 100 yards away through a double-paned window with just her eyes alone. The stare became known by many cats in the land. 

She didn't mind moving or where or how we lived, even when we were homeless at one time, she stayed right by my side. We had each other and that is all that mattered. There were darker times, where she saved my life just by being there to care for.

Diva was a good listener and one of the only living creature that laughed at my jokes. She was a huntress, a climber and a poet. She talked all the time. She was named Diva appropriately. 

She was 100% Female, refined, demanding, elegant, witty, and young at heart to her very last day. She was private and sweet, loyal and soft. She was a healing mystical cat that knew just what to say or do in any given situation to make it a happier more beautiful place.

She was the love of my life, my best friend and female companion. It was an honor to have been her kitty mommy and lifelong friend. Rest In Peace my Angel, with fur.
a MEMORIAL will be held this Sunday, September 27th, in Pacifca, CA

A very nice man from the Pet Rest Cemetery & Crematory came Wednesday and picked up her remains and she was cremated yesterday.  They said they will call me today when her aches are ready.  I will pick her up tomorrow.  Sunday, I am holding a small memorial for her at sunset on my favorite beach, sprinkling some of her aches to sea and burying the rest on my secret hill overlooking the Pacific ocean.

Needless to say, I have been a mess emotionally.  It has been so hard to come home and be there without her.  It's going to take sometime to get used to her not being there by my side.  I am grateful she passed over in her sleep and was not sick or suffered.  I have been feeling guilt for not being there, of course when she died.  She was old, skinny as hell, she ate like a horse and never gained a pound, (Hyperthyroid) but very healthy the vet said last February, so I am not sure of her cause of death.  The reality of it hit me and I have been grieving BIG TIME. including vomiting, sobbing and complete meltdown.  My girlfriends have been a great support to me. I am so very sad. I am grieving and emotional eating may ensue, we will see.  I can eat comfort food, just in very small amounts.  I scheduled a massage for Saturday to replace food as comfort.  I keep remembering that when I need comfort.

I got on the scale this morning and I weigh 231 lbs.  I am hoping to make it to 229 next week....

I'm happy for my weight-loss but so very heartbroken.  All I can do now is celebrate her life and remember how our hearts are always connected, no matter how far apart we are from one another.

PEOPLE CAN CHANGE! I am proof anyone can change themselves!

Yes folks, I'm still losing steadily.  I jumped on the scale this morning and it read 232lbs.  My surgery day weight was 281lbs. 15 weeks ago from today.  OMG, it's working!

I HAVE LOST EXACTLY 49 POUNDS SO FAR!

I am only 87 lbs. away from making my goal of 145lbs.  I am getting used to my new style of eating.  I do not deprive myself of anything.  I still cook lavish fun dinners, glamorously camp and BBQ wild fun food in impossible terrains with funny musical friends,  and still am a foodie that loves to entertain.  I still bake cakes and cookies and still drink (mostly Vodka w/Pomegranate juice, when I do) on the weekends, just very small amounts.  I can drink coffee again without it hurting my tummy, That is AWESOME.  I can really feel and see the difference in my size and body overall.

This is my big health change year.  I finally qualified for health insurance with my employment and found a local primary care doctor in my little seaside town.  I went in for a routine general medical exam and am getting my first Mammogram Screening, Lab work including - CBC, TSH, Free T4, Comp metabolic panel, Lipid Panel, HGBA1C, HSCRP, Vitamin D25OH, Vitamin B12, Mg, Estrogen, Progesterone and FSH tested.  I am also finally getting a Pelvic Ultrasound and a Colonoscopy. I'm getting a baseline for THE WORKS.  I want to get the real numbers as my body adjusts to the new body weight set point when I reach my goal and begin maintenance.

What I am noticing is the little things that are changing.  For overweight struggling others out there who may be reading this, imagine not getting winded as much walking up a flight of stairs.  I am no longer feeling the need to wear a jacket to hide my stomach and lack of waistline.  I have more energy and my mind is clearer.  I feel stronger.  I am thinking faster and quicker.  I can fit in a movie theater seat comfortably.  I stop eating when I am full, because I don't want to feel sick.  I literally can not overeat.  This is very comforting.  Things I wore before are WAY TOO BIG on me now.  I am enjoying shopping and trying new clothes on.  My feet don't ache at the end of the day like they used to.  I am noticing my attitude is better about myself.  I have a new sense of freedom of expression and acceptance.  This is giving me a natural sense of ambition to go for things I never would have considered before. I am making better decisions everyday.  I think my life direction is improving because of this.

It is amazing how just a couple of degrees of change along your path, can take you to an entirely new direction - FOR THE BETTER. WHO KNOWS WHAT'S NEXT?!

My life purpose is all about creating BEAUTY, FUN, COMMUNITY, AND FREEDOM, with Music, Food, Art and hopefully LOVE will be added to this mix somewhere down the road.

People can change.  PEOPLE REALLY CAN CHANGE THEMSELVES.  Let me be an example.  If I can do it, ANYONE CAN.

But for some of us SEEING THE SIZE OF YOUR ASS SHRINK makes a HUGE difference. :  )

 

12 Weeks ~ 3 Month VSG Post Op - 43 pounds down!

So last week I went out of town and indulged a little and thought for sure I would have gained weight, but thankfully nope I didn't.  My brain has been focusing on the next goal weight, TO GET TO THE 239lbs.  This morning when I got on the scale I weigh 238lbs.!   

 That is a total of 43 pounds lost in 3 months!

People are starting to notice the weight loss and mention it to me now.  I guess you can really see it in my face. Here is the most recent photo of me taken this week:

BEER SCHOOLING: Helping a friend rack her first home brewed beer.
Photo taken by Paul Mc Gregor on 8-19-15

REALLY GOOD HOME BREWED BEER!
It's one of the many reasons I got so big!

My dear friends Patricia Mc Gregor (to the left with her Porter), and Lisa Doyle to the right with the gray hair and plastic container in her hand (who will be racking her Red Ale on Sunday) HOORAY TO NEW HOME BREWERS!  Even though I don't drink beer or anything carbonated right now, I still support the beer makers!

I have been walking on my lunch hour during the weekdays, and I think this is totally speeding up my weight loss.  It was very exciting to lose more than expected in one week!  I have only 93 more pounds to lose until I make my goal weight of 145lbs.  I've lost a couple more inches as well.  SLOW BUT STEADY!  I am not hungry most of the time.  Food is no longer ruling my life.  I feel free and healthier.  Instead of nurturing, comforting or rewarding myself with food, I have been shopping for fun new cheap things to wear online from Ebay, Etsy and Amazon.  Suddenly trying on clothes is a positive experience.

Update: Here is one more photo from the weekend.  

My face is looking thinner.

Photo taken by Paul Mc Gregor on Sunday, August 23, 2015.

Week 10 and I lost 2 more pounds.

I laid in bed last night and felt my hips bones, they have been in hiding for years - kind of like the rest of me under this Diva Blubber.  I am down two pounds from last week and still losing.  I feel fabulous.

I weigh 243 lbs. 38 pounds gone!

I caught a man checking me out yesterday.  I guess my energy is changing in very positive ways too.  I have a LONG way to go still.  Wait until next year!  I'm losing about 2 pounds a week.  My goal was to hopefully lose 6 pounds a month over two years.  I am happy losing the weight slowly, I don't want excess skin. I have 98 more pounds to lose until I make my goal of 145 lbs.

I organized a Tiki Bar Crawl in San Francisco for tomorrow, but really am not drinking, so I am a designated driver.  All I want is to taste a couple of exotic cocktails to see what they are like.  I have always wanted to try the "Suffering Bastard" and sample a real "Flaming Scorpion Bowl" cocktail.  I will tomorrow.

Week 9 ~ 36 Pounds & 17 ¼ inches Gone!

9 weeks ago I went over the border and had a sexy Mexican Surgeon remove 85% of my stomach, leaving me with a tiny tummy.  Since I have been on solid foods again, my tummy has been sensitive, but great overall.  I write down what I eat everyday, but basically I eat Protein first, Vegetables second and Carbs last.

I keep my carbs under 20 per day 3 days a week.  I take an antacid pill with my morning Protein shake and I'm good for the day.  I keep away from spicy foods, which is a 180 degree turn for me.  As of today:

I weigh 245 lbs. 36 pounds gone!

I have lost 17 ¼ inches total.
THAT'S 3 DRESS SIZES SMALLER FOLKS!

I have lost 3 dress sizes and have been forced to start buying clothes to wear.  I have been going to thrift stores, shopping on Ebay and online for cheap deals. 9 weeks ago I was wearing a size 3X T-shirt. 

Yesterday I received this Juggling Squirrel T-shirt Size XL, and it fit perfectly!

I have exactly 100 pounds to lose to reach my goal of 145 lbs.  The way I look at it is, I am focusing on reaching 239.  I eat a couple bits of something yummy and then see how it feels.  I can only take about 4 bites of anything and I'm done.  I do feel better all day after I have eaten meat these days.  The best part about this is, I DON'T THINK ABOUT FOOD ALL THE TIME LIKE I DID BEFORE.  I don't deprive myself anything at all, so I don't long for "Forbidden Foods."   I eat what makes my tummy feel good. 

I PHYSICALLY, LITERALLY CAN'T OVEREAT.  

That is as easy as it gets!

I know it's only 9 weeks in, and I hear the stories of other people who go through long  plateaus and struggle.  Compared to a lifetime of struggling, I am feeling awesome and this is way easier than I thought it would be.  Right now I am really getting smaller and people who haven't seen me in awhile see a difference in my size.  I AM HAPPY.

I'm noticing that I am doing other things I haven't done in years.  I am wearing jewelry and putting on eye make-up when I go out.  I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN LIKE - FOREVER.  I hadn't bought something new to wear in a very, very long time because shopping when you are fat and broke is not a positive experience.   This is giving me a new lease on life in ways I didn't expect.  I AM BEGINNING TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL.

I have been trying to figure out what my new look will be. I am finding myself drawn to black leather more and more. : )  We will see what I end up looking like.  I am very happy with this success so far. The only regret I have is not doing this surgery sooner.

6 Weeks Post Op VSG Surgery Update...

I think I will post updates every Friday from here on out.  It's been 10 days since my last update.  First, the stats:  Current Weight: 248 lbs. I'm losing slowly, but steadily. My weight goes up and down, but I'm losing inches. I was stoked when I broke into the 40's!

33 POUND LOSS IN 6 WEEKS! 

There are two major issues I want to tell you about.  If you are considering having VSG surgery, it's important that you know the truth about what you can expect and at least what I am experiencing so you can learn from my mistakes and genius moments.  I am a dare devil and usually a fine example of WHAT NOT TO DO.  : )  Here is what's happening currently:

ACID TUMMY ISSUES:
I was one of the lucky ones who had no complications in surgery, or in healing or with anything - UNTIL LAST WEEK.  I am very lucky to say that I have an amazing support system of VSG veterans that have been right there for me to answer any questions and give me awesome advise along this huge life change.  I know without them, I would have freaked the fuck out for sure.

My body is NOW finally adjusting to the huge change in my digestive system.  It started when I began eating soft to normal foods.  Anything I ate was giving me acid stomach.  I ate no acid foods. I ate really slow. I chewed my food better than a cow on meth, but no matter what I ate or drank, I had a sour acid stomach.  It was a serious buzz killer and really ruined my days.

Thankfully, my friend told me this would possibly happen and her doctor said it is normal.  It had happened to her for a few months about 6 weeks in, just like me.  I now take one Omeprazolein in the morning and I feel good all day.  It's like a protector to the tiny tummy as my body adjusts to the huge changes it's going through.  I may need to take the pills for as long as it takes for my tummy to adjust.  I never have had heartburn in my life, so this is really weird for me.

GRIEVING MY OLD WAYS OF COMFORTING MYSELF
A person can feel happy and sad at the same time.  I am happy as hell at my weight-loss success so far.  I can see it and really feel it in my clothes.  I am sleeping better than I have in years.  I'M HAPPY!  Yet, I also have been on the verge of tears at the oddest times.

I used to sooth myself with food, reward myself and comfort myself with food.  I still can, but not in the way I used too.  Don't get me wrong, I get 4 to 5 bites and I feel just right, not too full and not hungry.  I MAKE THOSE BITES AWESOME ONES!  But, I am having to find other new ways to comfort myself. Part of me feels like I have lost my best friend.  

A slice of chocolate anything, a bottle of Champagne and a warm purring kitty by my side, were my fall back program of comfort when I needed to escape the 3 ring shit circus that can be my life.  

Those ways of comforting myself are over (except for the kitty part).  I have watched countless VSG video journeys online and have heard many people talk about going through this difficult part.  NOW I KNOW WHAT YALL' MEANT. 

I have no regrets, but it's hard.  I isolate myself to work on and integrate the changes, which ends up being a very lonely painful process in some ways.  I got to do the work myself because the real change happens in me. Weight loss success is really not about the food. It's about why we eat. 

Put a sign on your refrigerator that says, "If you're NOT hungry, what you're looking for is NOT in here."

I now know what a Caterpillar feels like when it's going through a metamorphosis.  I'm inside my cocoon and I am changing physically and it hurts.  It's not easy, but I know I am where I am supposed to be and I will get through this.  I AM TRUSTING IN MY PROCESS.  I haven't found a therapist who could out smart me for my own good yet, so I'm counting on me.  I am sure I will feel much better when much more weight has melted off of me and I make some serious progress toward my goal weight of 145 lbs.  

Within the next two years a Butterfly will emerge 

from this cocoon and I will be free and fly like never before.

But for now, I'm sitting in the dark journaling my ass off and going through the difficult necessary changes mentally, emotionally and physically. Self awareness into a deep slippery cavern of old wounds that still had not mended, no matter how many pounds I had packed over them to keep a safe distance from feeling, facing and finding a way to forgive and let them go.

I am more happy than sad.  When I start getting super bummed out, I reach in the back of the closet and try on that jacket I wasn't able to button up.  It's now getting loose on me.  I snap right out of it and go for a walk.

The Redheaded Dance Walk Funk Master by the beach...

The weirdest part about having a tiny tummy is that you just are not hungry.  I don't even think of eating.  Most the time if and when I feel empty, I'm thirsty not hungry.  I have had to force myself to eat this week.  I have been adding greens to my diet.  All I want to eat is soup.

From everything I have read, this is why so many people lose the majority of their weight the first year.  I can see why, I got on the scale this morning and it read 251 lbs.  THAT IS OFFICIALLY 30 POUNDS DOWN since my surgery weight 5 weeks ago. 

The hard part for me is getting my ass out and exercising. I also have been noticing that I have been more chilly than usual.  My housemate even said something to me last night.  I do notice I'm getting a little colder, so I've been wearing warmer clothes lately.  Maybe is cause I'm losing body weight?

I have been procrastinating on my walking/running.  Getting active is a challenge for me, but I love to dance and love the sunsets here in Pacifica, CA.  My super funk music mix motivates me to pick up the pace when I am out there.  Like these songs:

Back in the day, I used to club in San Francisco and find the Urban Funk spots that used to play this shit and dance my ass off all night, even on a week night, and still get to work by 9:00am the next day. THOSE WERE THE DAYS : )   Well, they still get my ass moving. So when I'm laying there unmotivated like a SLOG, I put on one of these songs and get in the mood to get my ass out there and take a hardy dance walk to see the sunset and get warmed up.

The other night I found myself dance walking with reckless abandon in my hood near the beach. I don't think I came close to Ben Aaron and the Dance Walk Guru Master.  They totally crack me up. 

I do feel happier than ever.  I'm actually seeing the scale go down and feeling smaller. IT'S WORKING!  I keep my short term goals at 10 pounds at a time.  I don't have a date or any event in mind for my goal weight of 145 lbs. I just know I will get there, just 10 pounds at a time. 

I have been doing a routine of Carb Cycling with the small calories I eat weekly. I found that helped me in the past. Here is the logic behind carb cycling that helped me understand it better by the adorable Darren Mcallan.

The Low Carb High Fat lifestyle, also was easier for me to follow, but I am not planning on being in Ketosis anytime soon.  I do keep my carbohydrates below 20 a day on low carb cycle days.  I find I feel much better when my insulin levels are lower.  I feel more in balance, and don't have the ups and downs hormonally that I used to have. I've noticed it helps relieve my stress levels.  I am much better under pressure and my mind is clearer.

There's a new happy freak in town and she's the fat cute redhead dance walking by a beach near YOU!

1 Month Post Op ~ I've Lost 27 lbs. so far!

It's been 1 month since my surgery and I got on the scale this morning and I have lost 27 pounds total so far! HOLY HAIRY BACON BALLS!  In only 4 weeks?  I CAN DIG IT.  You can see it in my face peeps are saying at work.  I do feel it in my clothes.  This is just the beginning.  : )

Many people have asked how long did I wait before I went back to work? Answer: I flew home on a Monday night from surgery, and was able to work the very next day from home and the rest of the week. (I do computer/desk work so it was not difficult) I went back into the office the next Monday without a problem.  Honestly, I have had no problems, just my mental learning curve.  I am following the doctors plan, and everything is healing and going well.

I am on soft foods and have had no problems at all this week.  I am getting used to what and how much/little and how fast/slow I can eat.  I have been able to drink more water too.  I have been sleeping great. 

I must say, having a tiny tummy gives me the reassurance that I am not going to over eat that is for sure, I LITERALLY CAN"T.  It's the best diet tool EVER!  People have been asking me what am I eating.  I have been logging my meals like this in my Gcal daily:

Breakfast: CLICK Espresso Protien Shake (Mocha)
Snack: 4 oz. Non-fat Greek Yogurt w/Fresh Blueberries
Lunch: 4 ozs. Chicken Tikka Masala Meat w/ curry sauce
Snack: 4 oz. Sugar-free Chocolate pudding
Dinner: 4 ozs. Pork Pot Stickers from Tams Restaurant (3 of them)
Snack: 1 No-Sugar added Fudgsicle & Double dose of Chewable Adult Multi-Vitamins.

I start the Couch to 5K beginners running plan tomorrow.  Each session should take about 20 or 30 minutes, three times a week.  I have the COUCH TO 5K APP on my phone to help.

"First off, you may be asking, "exactly how many miles is a 5K?" A 5K is 3.1 miles. We're here to help you achieve your goal of beginning to run your first 5K. Too many people have been turned off of running simply by trying to start off too fast. Their bodies rebel, and they wind up miserable, wondering why anyone would possibly want to run in the first place.

You should ease into your 5K training plan gradually. In fact, the beginners' program we outline here is less of a running regimen than a walking and jogging program. The idea is to transform you from couch potato to runner, getting you to begin running a 5K or 3.1 miles and on a regular basis in just two months.

It's easy to get impatient, and you may feel tempted to skip ahead in the program, but hold yourself back. Don't try to do more, even if you feel you can. If, on the other hand, you find the program too strenuous, just stretch it out. Don't feel pressured to continue faster than you're able. Repeat weeks if needed and move ahead only when you feel you're ready."
 
I also have been using the PACER Pedometer APP everyday to measure how many steps I get in daily.  It's making me way more aware of my movement.

I have back and neck problems, and still live with pain daily.  Nothing that 3 Motrin and laying flat on my back for an hour can't fix, but I am hoping to build my core strength as I lose the excess pounds with a goal to eventually make the pain completely subside and help me become strong enough to run a local 5K!   I used to love running everyday. I am going to take it slow and steady and stick with the program.  SO FAR SO GREAT!

Phat Caterpillar that is learning bad Super Model skills...

It will be 3 weeks Post-Op since my VSG surgery and I got on the scale this morning and I am down 26 lbs. so far.  That seems like a lot.  I am happy, but my tiny tummy is still healing and I am adjusting.  I tried a small amount of soft chopped fish, a pureed tiny Chile Relleno from our local Mexican joint in town, and I had a bad night.  I know I didn’t eat too much, so maybe I ate too fast, or it was the cheese or the chile, but it did not agree with me and I "Chucked Out" for an hour.

For the record, I am not a fan of lunch launching.  I have friends who are models that are professional yarfers and good at it, even lady-like about it.  Not me, if I did it, there was copious amounts of tequila or travel from foreign countries involved.  Loud horrible nasty ass painful wrenching that would sound like someone was dying - That Was Me.  But last night, it was not like that at all.  It didn’t even hurt.  I am back on clear liquids today.

Before VSG, I was known for the term, “Tres Hot” in my cooking.  Ask any of my friends!  I love spicy hot flaming good food and have been making Bad Girl BBQ for many years.  I love me some Jalapeno and Habanero Peppers and Cayenne Pepper replaced my black pepper every day.  Well, I think those days are over for me folks - for a long time.  This tiny tummy is touchy and there is no telling what it wants now.  It’s just trial and error. 

I’m like a Phat Caterpillar that is learning bad Super Model skills.  I don’t want to hurt my tiny tummy, so I’m going to go slower with my Post op diet.  I also have a hard time drinking all of the water required daily.   Are Sleever’s natural made bulimics?  Maybe in the beginning while we are taking our tiny tummies for test drives.  I'm just staying close to home these days in a metamorphosis, but a Butterfly will begin emerge soon.

I'm sure no one is going to recognize me in about a year from now.

I called Uncle Ralph on the big porcelain telephone...

I started on pureed extra soft foods yesterday.  Did good with chicken soup.  I feel better after eating some meat protein blended in there.  I have tried several things.  I did make one huge mistake and found that out the hard way.  I tried some spaghetti sauce, holy acid puke storm Batman, I barfed and had heart burn for 2 hours.  I took an antacid pill which helped calm down the tiny tummy.  I  won't try that again for a few months.  At least I know what puking now feels like with this new size tummy.

It's kind of like driving a new car.  When the gas light goes ON, how far will that get you, REALLY?  I found out that I can eat about 4 Tablespoons worth of pureed meat with broth and I'm just right, anything more and I get too full.

I did find some other things that have really worked well and feel great. I busted out the slow cooker and added a lot of broth to these little make-ahead meals for work.  So far, I either blend them or eat them really slow in tiny bits and chew them very well.  I made a bunch of these tiny meals and popped them into the freezer, so I can just grab one to throw in my Fender lunch box on my way out the door in the mornings.

Here is a photo of some of what I am eating on the VSG Post-Op Surgery Diet.

The Perfect size lunch box for Triple T's daily meals for work.

So far, I'm saving money on food and feel better having these 4 oz. portion sizes made and ready for convenience and easy storage in the fridge.  These you see in the photos are more meat and broth than carbs, so I don't feel deprived of carbs.  The Yo-Yo dieting, repent, diet, starve, repeat cycle is how I got this big in the first place.  I finished an "AM I HUNGRY - MINDFUL EATING COURSE" and it has helped me tons in preparing my mind for the change and lifestyle I am currently undergoing. The Best books and courses EVER!

I am down 21 lbs. in 2 weeks.  I know that is mostly water weight since surgery.  This is a full lifestyle and body change. I expect it will take me at least 2 years to get to my goal weight of 145 lbs.  SO FAR SO GOOD, except for calling Uncle Ralph.

Mexican belly skin wallets?

Holy crap I'm down 20 lbs. in 11 days.  I also posted my measurements today, 3 inches lost so far too!  I'm still feeling good.  The weirdest part is mentally getting used to feeling the new "Full" feeling when eating a half a cup and such.  I'm on the "Full Liquid" only phase of my post op diet.  It's really not to difficult, but I have been dreaming of soft ripe avocado's.  I will get on the Pureed Phase soon enough and get me some.

The bandages came off today and the small incisions are healing great.  No scabs, just 5 soft little pink cute scars.  I went into the hot tub for the first time tonight since surgery.  IT WAS BETTER THAN EVER!  I just percolated in there looking down at my belly and it still is a kind of a shocker to me.  I DID IT AND HERE IS PROOF.  I WENT THROUGH WITH IT AND REALLY DID IT.  I researched and waited so long to make this a reality, and the day came and went and here I am at the beginning of my weight loss journey.

I think scars are sexy.  They tell a story about the stuff we have been through.  I just got 5 new ones that may be the best ones ever.  I think my tiny tummy is healing well, it's still very delicate and sore in there.  After they cut out the 85% of the stomach, I wonder what they do with the leftovers?  ARE THERE BLACK MARKET BELLY'S IN MEXICO?  Do they make soap out of them like in Fight Club?  Human Tripe?  Mexican belly skin wallets? 

Well I'm planning on losing it all my friends (136 lbs.of it.  It's like I'm carrying 136 lb. person on my back : ) and I plan to drop her off and hope to be even MORE FREE THAN EVER BEFORE and in a lot less pain.

VSG is way better than Fen-Phen

I've been home recovering from my VSG surgery for 8 days.  I'm really grateful I was able to work from home last week.  So, I began to develop a bad case of cabin fever and needed to get my ass out of the house last night.  

A fellow vocalist friend of mine and I got to yackin on the horn the other night. She was very knowledgeable in WLS advise.  She was getting over a bad cold and still had to do a gig this weekend (Poor grrl, I've been there : )  She invited me to her show at the Half Moon Bay Brewing Company, and a bunch of fun kooky other friends were going, so I went.

The Highwater Blues Band with 

vocalist Suzanne Rose KICKS ASS!

Doesn't she look great!?!

I didn't dance, but had a total blast 

watching everyone else dance their bootys off. 

Thanks Suzanne for taking this photo of Patricia McGregor and I.

It was great to get out and hang with some of my favorite local peeps!  I drank cranberry juice all night and felt fine.  I remember driving home last night feeling clear headed, happy and ready for a good nights sleep.

It's totally weird.  Food does not look good to me right now.  I guess when they removed the entire lower majority of my stomach,  this included the "Ghrelin -   the "hunger hormone".  VSG may also a Metabolic surgery.

For those people out there who did really great on Fen-Phen back in the 90's (Like myself) and loved it.  It feels like that but without the buzz of uppers in your system.  With VSG you have no hunger, and you won't find yourself biting your lips, grinding your teeth and scrubbing down the grout with a toothbrush in your shower at 4:30am because you can't sleep.

Being free from hunger is a very liberating experience.  I'm not thinking about food at all, just what feels good in my healing tiny tummy.  It's a nice break from an old way of life.  This part is my favorite so far.  In my opinion, VSG surgery is WAY BETTER THAN FEN-PHEN! Fen-Phen was not sustainable, and oh yea, it was also jacking up heart valves and was taken off the market. I remember my heart was turbo charged back in those days, no wonder.   

If it's not sustainable, IT'S NOT MAINTAINABLE.

 ...but having a clean shower is still nice.

Hamster singing in my chest cavity.

For shits and giggles, I got on the scale this morning and I weighed 263 lbs. That is an 18 lb. loss since last Friday.  I guess this is all water weight pouring off of me.  I'm feeling stronger today.  Tiny tummy is making all kinds of noise when I sip my protein shake this morning.  It's like having a hamster singing in my chest cavity.

I must say, I LOVE THE "CLICK Espresso Protein Drink, Mocha" it is replacing my coffee fetish.  I am the portrait of a fine coffee abuser.  I know they said no caffeine and all, but the withdrawals were killing me, so I went with this as a middle ground alternative.  CLICK features a double shot of espresso coffee, 15 grams of protein, 23 vitamins & minerals, and it's great hot or cold.

I started buying a bunch of protein shakes, this is my morning one for sure.  I'll give you a review of them as I try them.  If you are thinking about or planning on having WLS, it may save you some clams when it comes to buying the smallest size shake mixes just so you can try them to see if you like them. 

Started Full Liquids Today - Tummy is Perplexed, yet chill.

Today I walked over to the store and bought some yogurt.  I tried full liquids for the first time this morning with a protein shake.  My tiny tummy gurgled loudly saying, "Now what!?!"  Later,  I ate a couple spoonfuls of yogurt, it calmed it right down.  I was totally full with 5 ounces.  FAROUT.  I have never once had any complications or nausea. YAY!

I'm still pretty sore.  My incisions are healing nicely. I have absolutely no hunger at all.  I feel free.  The only thing that did happen was I took a pill and it got stuck a little and a sharp pain happened in my new tummy, OUCH MAN, that hurt.

Now I know what that feels like.  The next one I took, I put a little coconut oil on it before swallowing it, no problem at all. I use to just rub bacon on everything to make it better!  I don't plan on giving that up, but maybe for the first 100 pounds of weight loss.