Have a great weekend!

I gained a pound this week, but it probably should have been more.  I did not even attempt to do strict Keto this week.  Some days it's easy to just eat according to plan, which for me is Protein first, Vegetables second and carbs last, but I ate more than 30 carbs a day for sure. I can't get enough blueberries, pineapple and raspberries - it's summer and I am diggin the fresh fruit big time.  I have been really stressed out this week.

When I feel stressed, I reach for refined sugar and Stevia or Splenda just don't cut it in times like these. I started to obsess about donuts and finally just went a ate them. First one in over a year.  This was most certainly an emotional eating moment. I now remember why I don't eat them.  I know myself well enough.  It's the Dopamine and the rush from the sugar I crave.  A temporary high, and then the crash.  I feel icky afterwards.  I think refined sugar and enriched white flour may be more addictive than cocaine, it's certainly cheaper.   I ate sugar early in the week and went back to eating according to plan.

I tested my Ketone levels this morning and I am in very low Ketosis " Yellow", which is better than "Blue" on my Ketonix meter.  So I am not too far off.  I want to stay in the "Red" zone.

I do have to say, I feel much better when I eat low carb and when my insulin levels are low.  I have more mental clarity and feel more grounded, but I have moments of temporary fixes every once in awhile, and they help remind me that they are bad choices. It was a stressful but productive week personally from a health perceptive.  I have been suffering from uterine fibroids and I am finally getting some help from a specialist.  They are doing another ultrasound to see if I also have endometriosis going on.  Let's hope the fuck not. We won't know until next week.  My symptoms and pain sure feel like it.  

I will need surgery, either taking out the fibroids or the whole uterus with a laparoscopic hysterectomy.  I guess for those of us who have never been pregnant, the symptoms are worse they say.  My friends can tell you, for years I have spent much of my time with peri-menopausal nightmare symptoms and in bed in pain.  This is why I study and write as much as I do.  I try to make the most of my time, even when I am what seems to be, 'Bleeding to death.'  I am so glad to finally get someone who will help me resolve this girly parts nightmare.

Cute guys keep asking me out on dates, and I am just saying no right now.  My heart is eager, my pussy is excited, but my uterus is angry and kicking my ass.  Peri-menopause is a serious buzz kill with the hot flashes whenever I drink coffee or alcohol.  My sex drive is still intact and working, but I sure don't feel romantic or sexy when the crazy flop night sweats come on.  The mood swings are just stupid ridiculous.  You are fine, but for no reason at all, you feel like crying. And seriously, it's not some repressed bullshit, it's just hormone imbalance hell.  I am doing these sweet men a favor.  I'll get surgery and start some safe form of Hormone Replacement Therapy and I'll probably be closer to my size 8 and feeling better. Then I'll consider romance.  One step at a time.

I figure I have at least 25 years more before this meat suit starts to really wear out.  It's all about the quality of life everyday.  So taking care of these problems once and for all may just help give me a new lease on life.  I have Kaiser and so far, they have been fantastic with preventative and specialized care.  

Being lighter on my feet, has really helped my back and neck pain. My blood pressure is in the normal range.  I feel more beautiful and happy, so my heart and spirit are stronger these days.  I can honestly say, I am no longer feeling depression. For someone who lived her whole life being sad a hell, I am in a good place right now.

If you are depressed, are at least a 100 pounds overweight and are getting older, I would seriously recommend VSG surgery as a great way to make a change in your health.  You will still have the emotional eating and will need to learn new ways for comforting yourself and "Self-care", but having a tiny tummy is kind of like having an insurance policy.  It sure makes it easier.  I am over a year Post Op VSG now.  I do get hungry, but it is NOTHING like it used to be.  If you are struggling health wise and suffering a downward spiral, this is a great way to turn your life around.

I will get to my weight loss goal, but I am accomplishing many emotional awareness and other health goals at the same time. 

It's a lifestyle change.

Trust yourself and in your process. 

HAVE A FABULOUS

HOLIDAY WEEKEND EVERYONE!

I'll be drinking tequila!