I think I will post updates every Friday from here on out. It's been 10 days since my last update. First, the stats: Current Weight: 248 lbs. I'm losing slowly, but steadily. My weight goes up and down, but I'm losing inches. I was stoked when I broke into the 40's!
There are two major issues I want to tell you about. If you are considering having VSG surgery, it's important that you know the truth about what you can expect and at least what I am experiencing so you can learn from my mistakes and genius moments. I am a dare devil and usually a fine example of WHAT NOT TO DO. : ) Here is what's happening currently:
ACID TUMMY ISSUES:
I was one of the lucky ones who had no complications in surgery, or in healing or with anything - UNTIL LAST WEEK. I am very lucky to say that I have an amazing support system of VSG veterans that have been right there for me to answer any questions and give me awesome advise along this huge life change. I know without them, I would have freaked the fuck out for sure.
My body is NOW finally adjusting to the huge change in my digestive system. It started when I began eating soft to normal foods. Anything I ate was giving me acid stomach. I ate no acid foods. I ate really slow. I chewed my food better than a cow on meth, but no matter what I ate or drank, I had a sour acid stomach. It was a serious buzz killer and really ruined my days.
Thankfully, my friend told me this would possibly happen and her doctor said it is normal. It had happened to her for a few months about 6 weeks in, just like me. I now take one Omeprazolein in the morning and I feel good all day. It's like a protector to the tiny tummy as my body adjusts to the huge changes it's going through. I may need to take the pills for as long as it takes for my tummy to adjust. I never have had heartburn in my life, so this is really weird for me.
GRIEVING MY OLD WAYS OF COMFORTING MYSELF
A person can feel happy and sad at the same time. I am happy as hell at my weight-loss success so far. I can see it and really feel it in my clothes. I am sleeping better than I have in years. I'M HAPPY! Yet, I also have been on the verge of tears at the oddest times.
I used to sooth myself with food, reward myself and comfort myself with food. I still can, but not in the way I used too. Don't get me wrong, I get 4 to 5 bites and I feel just right, not too full and not hungry. I MAKE THOSE BITES AWESOME ONES! But, I am having to find other new ways to comfort myself. Part of me feels like I have lost my best friend.
Those ways of comforting myself are over (except for the kitty part). I have watched countless VSG video journeys online and have heard many people talk about going through this difficult part. NOW I KNOW WHAT YALL' MEANT.
I have no regrets, but it's hard. I isolate myself to work on and integrate the changes, which ends up being a very lonely painful process in some ways. I got to do the work myself because the real change happens in me. Weight loss success is really not about the food. It's about why we eat.
Put a sign on your refrigerator that says, "If you're NOT hungry, what you're looking for is NOT in here."
I now know what a Caterpillar feels like when it's going through a metamorphosis. I'm inside my cocoon and I am changing physically and it hurts. It's not easy, but I know I am where I am supposed to be and I will get through this. I AM TRUSTING IN MY PROCESS. I haven't found a therapist who could out smart me for my own good yet, so I'm counting on me. I am sure I will feel much better when much more weight has melted off of me and I make some serious progress toward my goal weight of 145 lbs.
But for now, I'm sitting in the dark journaling my ass off and going through the difficult necessary changes mentally, emotionally and physically. Self awareness into a deep slippery cavern of old wounds that still had not mended, no matter how many pounds I had packed over them to keep a safe distance from feeling, facing and finding a way to forgive and let them go.
I am more happy than sad. When I start getting super bummed out, I reach in the back of the closet and try on that jacket I wasn't able to button up. It's now getting loose on me. I snap right out of it and go for a walk.
33 POUND LOSS IN 6 WEEKS!
There are two major issues I want to tell you about. If you are considering having VSG surgery, it's important that you know the truth about what you can expect and at least what I am experiencing so you can learn from my mistakes and genius moments. I am a dare devil and usually a fine example of WHAT NOT TO DO. : ) Here is what's happening currently:
ACID TUMMY ISSUES:
I was one of the lucky ones who had no complications in surgery, or in healing or with anything - UNTIL LAST WEEK. I am very lucky to say that I have an amazing support system of VSG veterans that have been right there for me to answer any questions and give me awesome advise along this huge life change. I know without them, I would have freaked the fuck out for sure.
My body is NOW finally adjusting to the huge change in my digestive system. It started when I began eating soft to normal foods. Anything I ate was giving me acid stomach. I ate no acid foods. I ate really slow. I chewed my food better than a cow on meth, but no matter what I ate or drank, I had a sour acid stomach. It was a serious buzz killer and really ruined my days.
Thankfully, my friend told me this would possibly happen and her doctor said it is normal. It had happened to her for a few months about 6 weeks in, just like me. I now take one Omeprazolein in the morning and I feel good all day. It's like a protector to the tiny tummy as my body adjusts to the huge changes it's going through. I may need to take the pills for as long as it takes for my tummy to adjust. I never have had heartburn in my life, so this is really weird for me.
GRIEVING MY OLD WAYS OF COMFORTING MYSELF
A person can feel happy and sad at the same time. I am happy as hell at my weight-loss success so far. I can see it and really feel it in my clothes. I am sleeping better than I have in years. I'M HAPPY! Yet, I also have been on the verge of tears at the oddest times.
I used to sooth myself with food, reward myself and comfort myself with food. I still can, but not in the way I used too. Don't get me wrong, I get 4 to 5 bites and I feel just right, not too full and not hungry. I MAKE THOSE BITES AWESOME ONES! But, I am having to find other new ways to comfort myself. Part of me feels like I have lost my best friend.
A slice of chocolate anything, a bottle of Champagne and a warm purring kitty by my side, were my fall back program of comfort when I needed to escape the 3 ring shit circus that can be my life.
Those ways of comforting myself are over (except for the kitty part). I have watched countless VSG video journeys online and have heard many people talk about going through this difficult part. NOW I KNOW WHAT YALL' MEANT.
I have no regrets, but it's hard. I isolate myself to work on and integrate the changes, which ends up being a very lonely painful process in some ways. I got to do the work myself because the real change happens in me. Weight loss success is really not about the food. It's about why we eat.
Put a sign on your refrigerator that says, "If you're NOT hungry, what you're looking for is NOT in here."
I now know what a Caterpillar feels like when it's going through a metamorphosis. I'm inside my cocoon and I am changing physically and it hurts. It's not easy, but I know I am where I am supposed to be and I will get through this. I AM TRUSTING IN MY PROCESS. I haven't found a therapist who could out smart me for my own good yet, so I'm counting on me. I am sure I will feel much better when much more weight has melted off of me and I make some serious progress toward my goal weight of 145 lbs.
Within the next two years a Butterfly will emerge
from this cocoon and I will be free and fly like never before.
I am more happy than sad. When I start getting super bummed out, I reach in the back of the closet and try on that jacket I wasn't able to button up. It's now getting loose on me. I snap right out of it and go for a walk.
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